The Real Reason Why We’ve Barely Traveled for a Year

Last Updated on December 10, 2023 by Marybeth

Many of you were saying no to most things for over a year, pretty much, right? It’s been sky-high bizarre to say the least. The first time I ventured out wearing a mask my heart raced and tears stung. I didn’t feel sorry for myself, nor was I scared, really. It just felt so weird, and sad.

But I knew it wouldn’t be forever. Though yes, some news reports say it WILL be forever. Look out, here comes another variant…. My eternal optimism coursed through me shielding me from the gloom-and-doom, the fear, the unknown. That, coupled with a giant distraction, a reason to point the bright beam of my focus on what was essential right now – not how long will this last? Will life ever feel normal again?

My youngest daughter gave birth to our first grandchild.

This post is part apology to all my grandparent friends, and part “Here is why we’ve been happily staying home.” It’s also a departure from our normal posts. We usually don’t get very personal here. But hey, it’s my blog, our lives have been changed forever, and I want to talk about it. A ton of you won’t want to read this, and I understand. That’s where the apology comes in. My grandparent friends: I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry.

Until this stellar, heart-bursting event happened, I wasn’t even sure I wanted grandchildren. Some pretty scary and icky stuff is happening in this world. People are out-of-control angry, spreading hate. Who knows when the water will rise and consume our little house. All those things, plus are my kids even ready for this? I was fine to just keep on keeping on, doing the fun things my husband and I have signed up for (volunteering, sailing on a friend’s boat) sprinkled with the daily grind (laundry, grocery shopping, part-time work, cookingcookingcooking at home) and the often spontaneous beauty (beach walks, time spent with our kids, getting lost in a good book, large glasses of chardonnay, checking a workout off the to-do list, sudden lightbulb ideas for future blog posts) that makes up our little beach life.

So, sorry I didn’t get how you felt, you grandparents. Shame on me for not paying closer attention. I’m on your team now though, so hopefully you’re high-fiving me as we dance through this grandparent thing together, tears stinging – this time, of joy.

This baby that arrived during Covid! Holy you-know-what! Just the process of getting her into this world during a pandemic was a mind-exploding experience. I wasn’t allowed to come to the birthing center (only one person could, and naturally it was Mae’s boyfriend Josh) but then I was! Ellis took days and days to finally be birthed, and my sweet, brave, strong Mae was so weak from all the things she was instructed to do to get that baby out that she finally said “I need my mommy” and they broke the rules and let me come. (Yes, my grown kids still call me Mommy. I love it. My mom was “Mom” and no one can fill her shoes.)

We chose to isolate ourselves with a fierce, absolute acceptance, to protect that baby. And to a lesser extent, ourselves. We’re not young – but we’re not old! Just being smart, because no one really knew. (And still don’t? That is the question, but not for today.) We did get some blow-back about how careful we were being. And that’s okay – there are as many opinions about the virus as there are Florida Man stories. Some of our friends were hopping on airplanes during the height of Covid, others weren’t even ordering carry-out. I think we’ve all learned to accept and respect each other’s choices.

And now I’m that grandparent. Well, maybe not quite THAT one – you know the one I mean (eyes shining almost maniacally, whipping out too many photos to show you) – but I am that grandparent who has stepped right up, arms open, eagerly saying “How can I help?” The pure joy, the complete bliss, the chest-expanding gratitude of being able to help raise this baby.

Because it does take more than just one sleep-deprived parent at home alone with a baby while the other parent works long hours. Especially during this last year and a half we’ve all had. Because of Covid, Mae couldn’t exactly pop Ellis into her car seat and go to the library, visit a friend’s houses, shop at Target. Along with Josh’s parents, we are co-grandparenting, doing all that we can to make life a little easier.

And so this post is also a thank you to my husband, Robert. Without his great care of me, his support, and his skills keeping my car healthy for all the trips back and forth so that I can be Lolli (he is Pop!) I wouldn’t be able to help. Without him being fully on board with me doing my Lolli thing I would feel guilty, pulled in two directions. He clearly intuits how important this is to me. I know he can see it in my face, hear it in my voice, and feel the glow that radiates off of me after I come home from a day of contact naps, singing, acting silly, stroller walks, reading the same books over and over, helping show Ellis this world really isn’t icky – not through her eyes, anyway.

And so this is the essential thing for me, the right now. This day. This baby. Not the scary news on our phones and YouTube and just all around us.

This is the absolute perfect reason we’ve barely traveled in the last year. No question. We happily battened down all our hatches to stay safe for her, and fiercely offered our hearts and time to help out in any way we can. This baby.

She is smart, hilarious, and kind. And yes you can tell even at this young age – especially the kindness.

And now I AM going to be that grandparent and whip out a huge amount of photos. I’m so in love with Ellis, and so proud of Mae and Josh, who are amazing parents. So here we go—

Of course our phones and my computer are stuffed so full of photos of Ellis and hundreds of fun baby days that I’ve been waking up at 3 a.m. second-guessing which ones to share, so I’m just going to push “publish” on this WordPress thing, and maybe tonight I’ll sleep better…