We SUP

I have to laugh when I say that, because it almost sounds like “we SUCK,” and here’s the thing – almost anyone can stand up paddle! And so, we don’t suck!

I feel I have to put in the “almost” because I doubt your ninety year old grandmother can, or your ten month old toddler. Otherwise, it is so easy that seriously, (almost) anyone can stand up paddle.

I’ve never been super athletic. Okay, the truth – I’ve always been clumsy. I run into corners of doorways, I slip and fall into oncoming traffic. Most of the time I am sporting mysterious bruises that make CH raise an eyebrow. My glasses are coke-bottle bottomed, even with modern day high index lenses. Not perfect sight with my contacts, either. Can I blame that? My eyesight? Mostly I just lovingly credit my mom, whose sense of humor and grace I inherited. Thanks, Mom!

Our first time we were pretty nervous. Would we really be able to do this, fairly easily? We’re not twenty-five years old anymore. (Nor are we thirty-five….) I’d been working out harder so I wouldn’t look horrible atop the board. And it’s not like you can practice in your back yard. It’s a very public activity. I wanted so much to not look like the klutz that I am.

NICE candid, CH! Ugh.

We stuffed the board into CH’s tiny Ford pickup. It looked borderline obscene, how far it stuck out.  We pulled up to a public boat ramp that also had a separate non-motorized watercraft launching area, on the Indian River. The first thing we saw were two horseshoe crabs MATING. How cool, and also, EW! A good omen?

CH went first. He got up, no problem. As he paddled the board went crazily to the left, then to the right, and he went nowhere. Whaaaaat?? This is not fun, nor easy!

We’d forgotten to put on the FIN. Don’t tell anyone.

After that, it really was a breeze. Kneel first, then get up slowly. Keep your eyes on the horizon. Start out in flat water. That’s about it! I should say “wear a life vest” but really? Hell yeah, let me TRULY look like I don’t know what I’m doing! Let me look like I CAN’T EVEN SWIM.

In order to not call attention to myself I choose to wear a hot pink swim skirt?

Me trying to paddle away from the dangerous rocks as people at the nearby boat ramp look on

Don’t worry about falling in. Guess what – I DID NOT FALL IN. CH did, but to his credit, a dolphin leaped out of the water right next to the board, startling him. What a beautiful sight – him falling in, not me – and those dolphins. Wondering what in the heck we were doing out there, in their river.

Happy now because I made it back without falling in!

Even I can stand up paddle, people!

And like everyone says, what a great workout. You don’t have to be in perfect shape to enjoy spending time above water, paddling gently or with some vigor. It feels great, you can pretend you are an athlete, and the views from up there are different than from in a kayak. Flat water options are everywhere in coastal Florida. You can fish from your board, take a picnic, your dog… and you don’t have to be twenty-five.

Our paddleboard beach